Not so destroyed anymore.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I saw a vision today, so beautiful I knew it was fake at once. And yet, this beautiful angel didn't disappear immediately out of my sight - Even after I've stared at him - unsure, hasitant, disturbed, amazed, stirred, excited; For he was like nothing I've never seen. He's an angel, and I was so sure of it.

I was on a bus, travelling alone, late at night. It was closed to Midnight, and I knew, for I could see that the moon had risen high up in the sky, shedding its silvery light upon insignificant many below it. I watched the moon from below, not knowing where else to look, as I glanced out of the bus's foggy window. I reached out a hand to clear the mist as I continued staring at the moon, amazed by its strength, for it was alone. I was one who could never stand to be alone.

The bus whistled to a stop, and my eyes shifted unconsciously to peep at the person boarding - I knew that he was boarding the bus, for there was no one else here except me, and the old driver who sang at the top of his voice. It wasn't polite, and I knew that pretty well, but I couldn't help myself. My eyes landed on a single person - A boy I would say, of a teenager's age. He was dressed in black, probably hinting that he didn't want to attract attention to himself. I took the hint gladly, and went back to what I was doing - Staring at the moon.

Obviously, my guess had been wrong - The one about him not wanting to attract attention. The bus was empty - There were at least thirty other available seats, but he took the one on the aisle beside mine, on the same row as mine, putting himself in my line of sight. I saw his black and white line scarf swing as he walked towards me, and watched it swing out of sight. He made no sound as he sat down, but his movements told me, with the confirmation of my side glance, that he was looking at me. I looked at him, unable to help myself. I was only human.

At that moment when my purple eyes met his brown, I felt my body freeze, but my heart pumped really fast and hard against my chest, so much so that it hurt. His eyes were so beautiful, it was actually painful to look directly into them, but all the same, it was impossible to draw your eyes away from them. I forced my lungs to take in air, and when it finally came, it brought with it a sweet smell that I inhaled gladly - Only to realise later that it come from him. Wow, he does smell good, I thought. Maybe it's colonge, or something along those lines. I was embarrassed and disturbed by my thoughts, but it didn't make them stop.

He must have had enough of me for now, because shortly after the magical moment I experienced, he turned away from me to face the front of the bus as the driver sang merrily in a different language. It was like he didn't feel what I felt, and I couldn't help but to feel disappointed - Maybe I wasn't attractive enough for him. He had the aura of an angel, or if anything could be close enough, a supermodel. The ones you see on magazines and posters, who parade around in costumes or with products. I couldn't never be as beautiful as him, nowhere close enough even. I held my breath as I tried to study him, with my head lowered slightly so it wouldn't look too suspicious. It was still suspicious, but I couldn't care much, like how songs always sang - I couldn't take my eyes off him.

He had shoulder length black hair, layered slightly with highlights - Blonde and silver ones. The ends of his hair hung just over his shoulder, caressing his scarf gently as he moved with the bus, and I couldn't help but to blush as I watched them swing. It was a wrong thing to think about, I knew, but I couldn't help myself. His frindge was long, and it hung gently against his cheek. He looked pale, as though he was sick, but that strange gleam in his eyes I saw just now objected to that. Maybe it was just me, I thought. It should be just me.

His left side profile was facing me, and from my view, I could see the multiple piercings on his left ear, with simple black rings for earrings, which looped through the piercings he had elegantly. There was about 5, maybe 6, I couldn't see too clearly. The earrings didn't stand out eye-glaringly like how many gangsters made them did, but blended in nicely with his hair. It was just another reason for me to keep my eyes on him. He was perfect in so, so many ways.

At this point, I couldn't help but to wonder whether he'll talk to me, if I initiated. It sounded like such an absurd idea, to talk to an angel that was so close, yet so far away. I wondered what he was called, and whether he was even human - It seems to me that no one would be able to find a name so perfect it could match this angel before me. I held my breath, careful not to inhale his scent, careful not to lead myself into a trap, into embarrassment. I failed terribly.